One life one love?

So.. everyone wants to meet 'the one' and live happily ever after. But what has alarmed me is the narrow minded-ness of the pursuit for love! For example, I’ve heard people saying that they plan to marry their high school sweethearts or their first love or even their first ‘experience’. Blah blah blah.  

This alarmed me.. What a horrible idea! I don't mean to offend anyone with this post but okay. There are a gazillion people living in this world and every single person is vastly different and unique in their own way. You are also different and unique in your way. There are personalities that you click with and there are personalities that you don't click with. Different styles, values, morals, likes, dislikes. DIFFERENT HUMOR.   

I think ending up with your future spouse is somewhat like picking your favorite ice cream flavor. You go to the shop with your friend and you pick vanilla. Nom nom nom vanilla is soo good, but your friend over there picked chocolate. So you get a little sample of that and see if you like it. Next time you go you try strawberry and then by the sixth visit maybe you’ve ventured out to the daring double scoop chocolate peanut butter heath fudge chunk flavor. There are so many flavors that each time you go into the ice cream shop you try something new, something different.

THEN after ALL those visits, you finally pick your favorite flavor. The ultimate best flavor ever that you like so much you reason that only God could have created something so tasty. Then that’s your favorite flavor you stick with and choose over all the other flavors. Even if flashier flavors come along you know, from past experience, what you like.

But, what if since your first visit, you just stuck with vanilla. Your whole life you’ve been a vanilla. Marriage is a lot more serious than your favorite ice cream flavor. BUT MY POINT IS that even with people you have to kind of see which type of person fits you the best. Try this person out that person out. How are you supposed to know that you've found the one if all you've come to know is just that one person! For a lack of a better metaphor, test drive the BMW, Mercedes and Porsche before claiming that Honda is the best!

Your spouse should be your best friend. Someone that understands most, not all, of who you are.. because if they knew all of you then that’d be kind of creepy (:

Just in case you guys were wonderingggg. My favorite ice cream flavors are vanilla bean and black cherry heh.

For all or for one

Because of the surgical removal of my wisdom teeth, I am sitting here writhing in pain. Despite the fact that I'm probably not going to school tomorrow, I have to get this off my chest.

I'm torn.

I want the world to be a happy place where socialism reigns and everyone reaps the benefits of hard earned work and money. A world where poverty no longer exists. As I sit here in comfort (other than the pain) I'm typing away on my computer with super speed internet. I live in a nice house in suburbia where the temperature is always a constant 70 degrees. I have basically all that I want and unquestionably more than I need. People like me cannot comprehend people living below the poverty line. That's LESS than one dollar a day. People, mere children, on the other side of the world cannot afford an antimalarial vaccination that will keep them from dying because it can cost up to $2.50. It costs more to order a cheeseburger on the dollar menu with small fries and a coke. A meal at McDonald's costs more than a lifesaving vaccination. I think about this and wonder what made the world turn this way. We're here worrying about paying our bills on time or worrying about whether or not our tax dollars are going towards bailing out American car companies. Maybe we're worrying about even more trivial things such as checking our FaceBook notifications or wondering whether or not the new Office episode has aired.

I did research for a school a couple weeks ago and was hooked to do more. Not only do people living under the poverty line not have the means to afford vaccinations, they don't even have food and drinkable water to sustain them from day to day. Unsanitary water is the number one reason for diseases killing millions every day.Clean water is of the upmost importance so the UN declared 2005-2015 as "Water for Life: The International Decade for Action."  The WHO estimates that for every $1 invested in water and sanitation, the economic returns will range from $2 to $24, depending on the region and the technology. This means that while achieving the UN water goals globally require over $7 billion, doing so will deliver economic benefits of around $60 billion a year. This includes savings of approximately $4 billion a year in the health sector.

Basically, it is in the entire world’s best interest to improve water and sanitation levels.

But as I said I'm torn. Yes, I believe that everyone in this entire world would be better off just helping each other selflessly. But on the other hand I believe in the saying that if everyone was a Socrates, Athens would have been in total chaos.

Not everyone can be a Socrates. Not everyone can be equal. It may be called the 'American Dream' to make tons of money by working hard, but not everyone is meant to have that money. Only the best do. That's why they're the best. That's why there is only one CEO to a company and one president to a nation.

feet size

So as I was writing a really fantastic post about deep stuff, I realized it wasn't that great at all. Hahaha. Sigh. No thought-provoking thoughts as I sit at home a fine Saturday night doing boring boring mundane things that I wish not to do.

I read this post somewhere saying that this person had been the same weight since like the eighth grade or something and I can totally relate! Somewhat.

I've had the same size feet since the fifth grade. All my shoes from the fifth grade, or what I have of them, still fit to this day. My brother always complains saying that I have so many shoes blah blah blah, but other than the fact that I am a fine stimulator of the economy, it's because my feet have not grown at all.

Although, I have noticed that shoe sizes are getting bigger. In the fifth grade till whenever I wore a size six. Now I find myself buying five and a halfs. ... In average the entire world's population now has bigger feet?

Has anyone else noticed this or is it just me. I doubt my feet have grown smaller. HOWEVER! I think my head has grown smaller! My hats AND glasses are so much bigger on my head!

I'm crazy.

Bye.

Oh though on a side note, the state of our economy.. err the whole world's economy is really scaring me. I mean I've been scared of it for a long time but now it's like omg do I hear social unrest. I live in the Portland Oregon and I've seen about four reported bank robberies very recently. But what do you expect. Crime is going to be up the wahzoo. Is it really paranoid to say that I wanna drive very carefully on the roads not to piss unnecessary people off?

It may sound really cliche and far-fetched but I feel that if everyone is a little bit selfless everyday in order to better not just themselves but their surroundings there's a trickle down effect just as the fall of a major corporation trickles down into many people suffering. Change in the economy and change in money leads to change in society, social norms and the overall happiness of society then why can't it be the other way around too. Why can't the goodness of society make the world a more prosperous place (economically speaking).

Even the fact that I had to say that the whole idea sounds cliche and far-fetched is a little bit disheartening. ):

I was rambling haahha this post is like all over the place. Well! I'm done now.

++ edit

so i tried to make the font bigger like i said a couple days ago but i guess my overall layout just doesn't let me..

i'll look for a new one soon!

the journey is what counts

Today I learned yet another life lesson from my very wise forty year old father. I'm still in high school and my father is forty, so yes, that does make him a very young father. Nevertheless, he is possibly the most wisest people I will ever meet in my life, and no, I am not just saying this because he is my father.

Anyways. Back on topic. Today I learned that the most important thing in life is not about attaining your goals, but the journey TO attain that goal. After you do get that A on your chemistry test or get the great promotion or catch the eye of that oh-so-attractive stranger .. you realize that that's it. There's the end of the road. However, when you look back at what you did the steps, the planning, the struggles, the drama the JOURNEY is what made you happy. The JOURNEY provides the greatest satisfaction.

Over the past couple of years, I've been trying to change myself for the better. Become more approachable, more friendly with better vibes. A better person on the face of this planet. Today I saw that in the past year and a half I have changed and grown so much as a person but why I have failed to realize that till now is because I haven't kept track of my journey. I haven't kept track of the steps, my failed plans, the drama that followed and the eventual success. This isn't tos ay that I do not have anymore growing that is necessary but I feel that if I had kept a track of my journey better my changes would have come more rapidly and more apparently.

So I wonder.. is this just me? I never really understood the whole diary/journal thing. But I guess if so many people do write about their lives in a book there must be some reason for it.

On a side note, I have been reading a more of blogs from other Xangans and noticed that oh my goodness there are so many little communities and unspoken ettiquetes of Xanga! I swear there are even the 'populars' of Xanga. Who knew that this online site could be so complicated!

But then again.. what in life ISN'T complicated (:

Anyways, I'm jsut saying this so that you aren't alarmed. No, I am not some creeper constantly refreshing your page. When I find an appropriate and satisfying picture I will post it up so I have a face on this website!

overwhelmed

Yesterday wasn't a very good day..

Right now I just feel so overwhelmed by life itself, and I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel like everyone desires and admires a certain lifestyle. The lifestyle where in the morning you drink coffee that your pretty wife made you. You wear your nice suit and get in your nice car. You drive away from your nice neighborhood and commute to your nice office/workplace. You eat delicious food and indulge in material possessions. You have a nice family with cute little kids.

But these material possessions weren't handed to you. You worked hard for them. You have passion and moxy. You have set goals and everyday strive to meet them one step at a time. You are hardworking, responsible, intelligent and wise.

This type of person is respected by society. The hardworking person that becomes successful.

People living this said lifestyle are pretty hard to find. But.. people living this said lifestyle and having a moment to enjoy it. That's a scarcity. A highly endangered species. I can't help but say that the people that are the most respected or admired seem to be the ones that are the most unhappy.

My parents are like this. We live in a nice house and have nice things. My parents are the most hardworking people I know know - no exaggeration whatsoever.

But what is this all for? I mean what does it come to in the end. My dad is always talking about his work twenty-four seven. That's all he talks about. That's all he cares about. Honestly though, in order to become what he has, that's kind of how it has to be. You have to live, breathe and become one with your job. With the numerous years of working his highly stressful, yet highly paying, job, his temper has been cut short, his hairs turned gray. He smokes like a chimney and eats like a teenager. Now he's forty, and yet his life goals about his career haven't been met.

Honestly. I don't understand. I may sound ignorant, stupid and unmotivated, but really I dont' understand why these certain goals of making a million or two million or whatever x amount has to be met! Does it really give you that much satisfaction? From my experiences with my folks, it doesn't! You're always going for more and more. More more more more more. It's a never ending cycle. A cup that will never be full. A life that will never be happy.

I would never want to be president. That kind of responsibility is something that I would not want to handle. I mean look at poor Obama. He's already aged in the last what month or so he's been in office? Why suffer so much. How great could having the title of president be when you're too busy with your work to hang out with you kids or to just sit back and enjoy what you have been given in life.Why work so hard to not even be able to enjoy what you have created for yourself with all your hard work.

I just don't understand.

However, on the other hand.. I ask myself if I am just being unmotivated and pessimistic. Am I one of those so-called 'losers' in this society. The unmotivated nine to five white collar workers. The people that never strive for their best. I mean after all a whopping ninety percent of the population is made up of these 'losers' in society. Only the top ten percent control.

I just don't know.

I didn't really write this for anyone to read or comment back. I just had so much inside of me that I needed to let out.. To take these thoughts and grasp them for understanding and meaning.